A critique, if you would please....

Rob Fissel · 01-30-2010, 08:23 PM

How are we doing, board members?

New to this site, and, obviously, new to the voice over industry. I've worked with many different talents in this industry through the medium of radio, and now I'm looking to see if I can cut it. Any comments on website layout would also be appreciated. So, lay it on me. I'd like to thank all of you in advance for your time and talent, given for free.

This place really is a wonderful resource.

Thanks much,

Rob Fissel

JoeActor · 01-31-2010, 11:49 AM

Hey Rob - Welcome to the forum...

I'll chime in with a few thoughts.

First off: good voice, nice pacing overall. Would like to hear a bit more connection to the listener. Try speaking directly to one specific person, and be relaxed and conversational.

Couple style notes. (IMHO) Split the different styles into different demos. Promo, commercial, radio, etc. Include enough of a spot so the listener gets a feel for it, but not the whole thing. Show a range of pacing, emotion, and styles - with no repeats.

Hope to hear more in the future.

Nice to meet you,
Joe J Thomas
Joe J. Thomas Acting Portfolio
SoundsGoodToYou.com - Joe J Thomas - Voice Actor

Mike Sommer · 01-31-2010, 10:14 PM

+1 on what Joe said.

You've got to lose the "RADIO announcer" voice and be a regular guy.

lanceblair · 02-03-2010, 12:20 PM

Right off the bat the sound is muddy and over compressed and there is a nasty digital click right after the word "golfer"...so I didn't listen to anymore of it.

Sighing and bird sfx isn't the best way to start a demo. That sigh sounds upset! Doesn't match the feeling that should be there at all.

Your voice is nice, but that's just a start.

Bob Bergen · 02-04-2010, 08:31 AM

What they said!! ;-)

Actually Rob, you're on the right track. It's just missing sumpthin. Joe is right in that you want separate demos for different genres. Back in the 70s and early 80s we did combination demos that were 3-5 minutes on reel to reel.

At the end of the demo, I'm just not sure who Rob is. Yes you have a nice voice. Yes, you read OK. What is lacking is personality and style. I think this is what Mike was referring to with "regular guy." I want to know Rob's sense of humor, his individuality, etc. There has to be something with everyone's demo that sets them apart from everyone else. And we all have this naturally. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own unique personality. It isn't just reading copy with a nice voice. It's adding that lil sumpthin extra that only you can provide.

Here are some demos where the actor's personality comes through. All very different types, which is intentional just to demonstrate different voice types and different personalities:
Jack Riley

http://www.voicebank.net/app/audio.j...ael.mp3&title=

Eddie Deezen

Rob Paulsen - Commercial

John Cato - Commercial

Eddie Barth - Commercial

Jeff Glen Bennett - Commercial

Now, again, these guys are all totally different. But all are personality driven. Also, all are working actors. BUT-because of today's technology, this is your competition. by having a demo, you are telling the world you are as good or better than those already represented and working. And like I said, you are on the right track! Keep working on finding your brand.

Hope this helps!!

BB

captain54 · 02-04-2010, 12:47 PM

What Joe, Mike, Lance and Bob said.

I like the sound and tone of your voice and you definitely sound like you have marketability, its just that your demo is not really sounding like its giving you the impact you need.

Your demo screams "radio guy". If that's how you want to market yourself, thats fine. However, you could be limiting your opportunities for employment in all the other markets.

You're doing yourself a disservice by starting off your demo with a :20 spot. Thats pretty much 1/3 of your demo, and its not even your strongest spot. You could have cut the sigh and the birds and started with "you know, it just doesn't get any better than this" and cut the rest. We would have gotten in :04 what you were trying to say in :20. That you are just one regular dude, best buddy, etc.

02-03-2010, 12:20 PM	#4 (permalink)
lanceblair User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: decatur, ga Posts: 392	Right off the bat the sound is muddy and over compressed and there is a nasty digital click right after the word "golfer"...so I didn't listen to anymore of it. Sighing and bird sfx isn't the best way to start a demo. That sigh sounds upset! Doesn't match the feeling that should be there at all. Your voice is nice, but that's just a start. __________________ Lance Blair Atlanta Voice Over Talent http://lanceblair.net Winner: 2009 Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Voice Over Excellence Last edited by lanceblair; 02-03-2010 at 12:24 PM.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

01-31-2010, 11:49 AM	#2 (permalink)
JoeActor Administrator Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 2,906	Hey Rob - Welcome to the forum... I'll chime in with a few thoughts. First off: good voice, nice pacing overall. Would like to hear a bit more connection to the listener. Try speaking directly to one specific person, and be relaxed and conversational. Couple style notes. (IMHO) Split the different styles into different demos. Promo, commercial, radio, etc. Include enough of a spot so the listener gets a feel for it, but not the whole thing. Show a range of pacing, emotion, and styles - with no repeats. Hope to hear more in the future. Nice to meet you, Joe J Thomas Joe J. Thomas Acting Portfolio SoundsGoodToYou.com - Joe J Thomas - Voice Actor

01-31-2010, 10:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mike Sommer User Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,164	+1 on what Joe said. You've got to lose the "RADIO announcer" voice and be a regular guy.

02-04-2010, 08:31 AM	#5 (permalink)
Bob Bergen User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 251	What they said!! ;-) Actually Rob, you're on the right track. It's just missing sumpthin. Joe is right in that you want separate demos for different genres. Back in the 70s and early 80s we did combination demos that were 3-5 minutes on reel to reel. At the end of the demo, I'm just not sure who Rob is. Yes you have a nice voice. Yes, you read OK. What is lacking is personality and style. I think this is what Mike was referring to with "regular guy." I want to know Rob's sense of humor, his individuality, etc. There has to be something with everyone's demo that sets them apart from everyone else. And we all have this naturally. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own unique personality. It isn't just reading copy with a nice voice. It's adding that lil sumpthin extra that only you can provide. Here are some demos where the actor's personality comes through. All very different types, which is intentional just to demonstrate different voice types and different personalities: Jack Riley http://www.voicebank.net/app/audio.j...ael.mp3&title= Eddie Deezen Rob Paulsen - Commercial John Cato - Commercial Eddie Barth - Commercial Jeff Glen Bennett - Commercial Now, again, these guys are all totally different. But all are personality driven. Also, all are working actors. BUT-because of today's technology, this is your competition. by having a demo, you are telling the world you are as good or better than those already represented and working. And like I said, you are on the right track! Keep working on finding your brand. Hope this helps!! BB

02-04-2010, 12:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
captain54 Chicago Voiceover Talent Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: chicago Posts: 187	What Joe, Mike, Lance and Bob said. I like the sound and tone of your voice and you definitely sound like you have marketability, its just that your demo is not really sounding like its giving you the impact you need. Your demo screams "radio guy". If that's how you want to market yourself, thats fine. However, you could be limiting your opportunities for employment in all the other markets. You're doing yourself a disservice by starting off your demo with a :20 spot. Thats pretty much 1/3 of your demo, and its not even your strongest spot. You could have cut the sigh and the birds and started with "you know, it just doesn't get any better than this" and cut the rest. We would have gotten in :04 what you were trying to say in :20. That you are just one regular dude, best buddy, etc.