SeannShaffer_Narration Demo

[Seann Shaffer]

Just finished my first draft of my Narration Demo!
Lets hear your thoughts...

[shenecke]

My opinion: the Jack Daniels and Lady GAGA pieces probably would be in a commercial demo.

[Mike Sommer]

Good try and a nice voice, but I thinks you missed the mark a little here.

First, you need to figure out if this is a narration or a commercial demo?

I have mixed feeling about this demo because there are parts of it that I like, but a lot of it sound like a
deodorant commercial rather than a narration demo. The material can be a little better also, especially for a
demo where everything needs to be pitch perfect for you.

Narration is a tricky business, the job of a narrator -for let's say a documentary- is primarily to lend an
authoritative and easily digestible voice to convey the meaning and concepts illustrated in the piece,
directly from the filmmakers' minds, out to the widest audience possible; all the while without over
coloring and shading our words, and letting the action play out on the screen.

With good narration, you are there with out getting in the way.

Sometimes I felt you were giving a hyped-up and dumbed-down youthfully "cool" or smugly "edgy" Host
Character-styled narration. Which to my ears it came off a little flat, sometimes contrived, and almost boring.

Also the music and effects didn't seem to match the story, or the scenes as they were being described.

What you should do is watch documentaries and mimic there voices an deliveries. Some of my favorite
voices past and present are Alexander Scourby, Lorne Green, Morgan Freeman, Mike Rowe, Will Lyman.
You can also go to PBS and get the transcripts to their programs and documentaries, and work out with them.

[Seann Shaffer]

Mike, thanks for the feedback!


"I have mixed feeling about this demo because there are parts of it that I like, but a lot of it sound like a
deodorant commercial rather than a narration demo. The material can be a little better also, especially for a
demo where everything needs to be pitch perfect for you."

....That's freakin Hilarious. Okay, so it seems I need to go less is more and not so much hype. Mike, can you explain the pitch perfect thing to me?Are you saying some of the scripts that I chose were not 100% suited for me.

Where did I go the most right in this demo, so that I know which direction to head?

P.S, what's the deal with the bouncing elephant?...Is it an example off "Anything is Possible"!

Thanks for your feedback!
Warmest Regards,
Seann Shaffer

[Mike Sommer]

Originally Posted by Seann Shaffer

... so it seems I need to go less is more and not so much hype.

Yes that would be the best way to go about it.

But it all depends on what kind of narration you are doing. If it's a Factual Documentary, the narrative tone should be purely descriptive, and left without any shading of personal emotional reaction. Unless the facts documented actually describe or represent the author's opinion - as an unabashed advocate (perhaps in order to prompt public participation to avert an impending disaster, or "right a terrible wrong"). But even then, it's always best to keep emotional shading to an absolute minimum for all factually objective documentary narration.
Well-Researched and competently-presented verbal and visual content should be powerful enough on its own, with the narrator simply speaking as if the film itself was communicating directly to the viewer, without emotional or personality embellishment.

As a Fiction Narrator you are the voice of the author or the voice of the story. Your are given a more freedom to color and shade your words. "To tell or illustrate the story with your voice." So if that story is not already emotionally fortified through the strength of its verbal construction or other accompanying elements of the presentation, then it is indeed up to the narrating actor to imbue their delivery with tones and phrasing calculated to evoke the appropriate emotional response while relating otherwise difficult to interpret ideas and describing less-than overtly compelling actions and events. Not unlike how a conductor leads the orchestra to convey the presumed or knowingly prescribed intentions of the composer to the audience.

Mike, can you explain the pitch perfect thing to me?Are you saying some of the scripts that I chose were not 100% suited for me.

To best describe what I felt upon the first listening: I was expecting to hear "narrative," but instead heard "commercials." So what you brought was not what the story needed -as a narrative. At least to my ears.

I think you need to find scrips that say distinctly narrative, and work with them.

In the crime scene description, I think you were trying to deliver the hyped, smugly "edgy" Host Character-styled narration I mentioned before. You can pull this kind of read off, but this style of read often needs a little more pacing, and the music and imagery are tied together to make a singular cohesive story. When I hear this kind of read I think docudrama, and might deserve a demo all if it's own.

Where did I go the most right in this demo, so that I know which direction to head?

It's smatterings of moments through out the whole reel, that caught my ear. I would have to sit with you and say, "a-ha that's it!"

P.S, what's the deal with the bouncing elephant?...Is it an example off "Anything is Possible"!

You got it! Poundcake is my eternally optimistic elephant. He demonstrates "daily" that with a little curiosity, intestinal-fortitude and hard steady regular work, that anything is possible.


As a final note: I find this is a fine example of wonderful storytelling and great narrative.

Tiger: Wildlife special./award wining documentary Part1of6

[Seann Shaffer]

Mike, thank you so much for breaking everything down and being so articulate.

I have a pretty good idea of what need to be done now. Start listening to the Greats and practice, practice, practice!

This is why I love voice over so much. Every time I turn down another path of this chosen craft, there are always new skill sets to learn and master.


We could all learn something from Poundcake!

P.S~ Thank you for the Wildlife Documentary attachment.

Warmest Regards,
Seann Shaffer

[Mike Sommer]

I'm glad that I can help.

I think some of the misconceptions in VO is that it's all about the voice. First and foremost it is all about the story. The voice should be almost transparent, the voice should not get in the way of the story but support it. I find that if I start pushing the words it starts to sound fake, deliberate or contrived.

Here is another fine pice of story telling.
Though this is animation, I urge you to listen without watching the video. Enjoy

Viddler.com - Frédéric Back - The Man Who Planted Trees(1987

[Seann Shaffer]

Mike, I haven't seen the video in long time!
What a great example, and story.
Thanks for sharing that!!!!

Also, I respect you because you tell it like it is!. Some may be offended by your comments but that is just their ego getting in the way of their true potential.

Warmest Regards,
Seann Shaffer.

[Mike Sommer]

Thanks Seann.

A long time ago when I was an art student, I asked Marc Davis to critique my portfolio. Before he even took it from my hand, he asked me, "Do you want to feel good, or do you want the truth?" Since then, I've lived by those words everyday.

If we all take the time to listen and dissect our demos and reads, we can begin to understand the process of voice acting. This, along with questioning what made a read good or bad helps everyone move forward.