Hit me with it!

[LavaShark]

OK, here we go. What do you think?

[JoeActor]

Ok, I'll bite (shark joke - hah!)

The selection, pacing, tone and production are good, but I'd want to hear more conversational and less presentational. The days of the "announcer read" are past and everyone is looking for the "guy next door".

Think about who you are, who you're talking to (one specific person), and what motivates you to speak the words. There's a lot of acting in voice acting, to be sure...

Just my 1/50th of a dollar,
Joe J Thomas
Joe J. Thomas Acting Portfolio (http://www.JoeActor.com)

[vovixen]

Hey TJ, I have to agree with Big Joe...mostly cause he said the same to me. Very "announcery", but good. Otherwise, I think you have a really strong voice. I like it!!

[jsgilbert]

T.J.,
Not to be cruel or anything but to be completely honest, this is one of those demos that would most likely get chucked into the wastebasket by it's recipients. How do I know? I do quite a bit of chucking. In addition to doing voiceover, I have hired quite a few people in my day to do v.o. as well. Many of these people were performing a paid v.o. job for the first time. I would suggest you take improv classes and traditional acting classes. Also listen to the radio and t.v. and think about what spots you might be cast to do. One of the spots you did, a pride of the nation..., came close to being really good and right before your fade out I caught a total drop of focus.

The best acting is the kind of acting that makes the listener feel that the talent isn't acting at all. The second piece you did - the gravelly thing was so forced I was in pain listening to it. Being the young, nice sounding guy (which I suspect is your natural voice) will get you much further than trying to be other people.

Sorry if I'm at all harsh, but if I were in your shoes I'd probably appreciate the candor. I only listened to your commercial demo, so these comments pertain to it.

Good Luck and if you want any help or support write to me at my regualr email, jsgilbert@pacbell.net I don't sell anything or charge anything.

Good Luck

[LavaShark]

I appreciate the feedback, these are the ones my coach selected for me.

Anyone else? Feel free to weigh in!

[LavaShark]

What do you think? Any and all feedback is welcomed!

Thanks,

TJ

[Mike Sommer]

A marked improvement over the first submission, but still a bit of work needs to be done.

You're still not quite believable enough to be competitive and it's to long.
The material is not that remarkable or memorable either.
The Irish accent needs work and should not be included in a commercial demo.


Acting classes and improve, are still in need. I suggest a round or two with Marc Cashman or Nancy Wolfson.

[Scott Pollak]

I'll throw in my 2 cents worth.

First of all, I'm going to be blunt, too.
One of my personal peeves is when someone posts a demo for feedback, gets constructive feedback, then a day later is back with another demo. Nothing against you personally, but people can't and don't change their entire way of presentation overnight. I really wish more folks would take to heart feedback like the kind J.S. and Mike usually give, then take TIME to go off and do the groundwork.

So, that being said... first I'll comment on the first two you posted, then listen to the follow up.

To my ears the initial postings sound very amateurish. There is an extremely forced delivery, as if you are just starting out in radio and think this is what radio announcers sound like. There really wasn't anything on either demo that made me believe you or believe that you'd been doing this for very long. No comfort level at all. I don't think I heard your 'real voice' at all anywhere on these, but instead felt like I was listening to a put-on delivery done in a radio production room after hours by an intern.

Now, on to the second one.

I like the voice much better. I'm betting I'm hearing more of your real voice now. Especially when you said: "The Sea World fun card."

Like Mike said, a marked improvement (so forget what I said about taking time above! :-). I'd ditch the first two demos above and use this one, but still concentrate on working on several things:

- don't worry so much about being an announcer (as in the Buffet piece). Your voice isn't suited for that. Instead, concentrate on being a real person. Clients can get tens of thousands of 'announcers' (with the ballsy voices) at any radio station anyway.
- Get voice coaching and take acting classes (like JS said) to learn how to take what is essentially a pleasant, conversational voice to deliver pleasant, conversational reads. I'm betting you can do it. But you do need some coaching and practice.

Now go do it!

[jsgilbert]

Hiis original post was March, 2008. This is now Novemebr 2009. That seems like a more than reasonable amount of time between efforts.

I would say that I think it also sounds better. Not to the point of being competitive or even intuitive. Listening to your range and ability to emote, I'm not hearing the best choices. What I mean is that quite a bit of this sounds inorganic, overworked and overstudied. There isn't a freshness about it, especially on the Campbell's Soup read, where I can actually hear the thousand pen marks and notes on the script. (At least to me, it sounds either overstudied, overtaught or overdirected).

Inexpensive improvisational acting classes and any form of scene study work will definitely move you along. I also think you really need to listen to lots of good commercials and go to voicebank.net and listen to some demos from actors at any of the L.A. or N.Y. agencies.

[JoeActor]

Inexpensive improvisational acting classes and any form of scene study work will definitely move you along.

Hey TJ - Since you're in L.A. check out the LA Connection for Improv:
http://www.laconnectioncomedy.com/

Talk with Kent Skov and tell him "Joe Actor" sent you.
They have classes at various Improv levels during the week, and shows on weekends.
The cost is around $100/month, and the best part is that you get to perform once you're ready (usually not too long). Performance experience and audience response is key for improv, IMHO.

I was with the 8pm Saturday show for a couple years.
Good group and a good way to hone your skills...

(advert... OFF!),
Joe

[Scott Pollak]

Hiis original post was March, 2008. This is now Novemebr 2009. That seems like a more than reasonable amount of time between efforts.



Yes, agreed! My apologies! I never saw the post dates. My bad.

[jsgilbert]

I could see why Scott didn't realize so much time had gone by between effrorts. Quite frankly, given this recording was 1 1/2 years later, I would have expected it to be considerably better than it is. Perhaps life got in the way of studies. Who knows?

I often have people ask me about doing v.o. work part time and invariably I see the same thng happen. Eventually, the person tends to forget their lessons and gets rustier and rustier, often to the point where they simply can't perform the work they are asked to. The pros I know are constantly working at their game in one fashion or another.

[lanceblair]

Hey TJ, big improvement in the new demo, although I think the production is a step back, but that's not what's important right now.

For a second, forget about acting. There's a range and dynamic to your voice in this demo, but it's not coming across as believable acting because you're missing a connection to the script.

On the Shamu piece, you can go "whenever you want" this is a big transistional motivational part of the script, and you gloss over it.

On the soup, it's good "whatever the weather" and you say all the words with the same soothing voice...but that part needs to have some more wry smile to it and reassurance, not just smoothness.

All the acting skills in the world won't help unless when that script gets shoved under your nose you understand it and make it sound like you're the guy coming up with these thoughts. Hey, I'm working on this too. :bye:Now, the acting skills will teach you how to understand and interpret the script, so I'm just advocating coming at things from the flip side.

In otherwords, you might be closer than you think. Spend some time doing these clips differently than how you did them and see where you end up. Shift gears more.

[LavaShark]

Thanks for the feedback. I've been studying with Nancy, but I have had to take a few months off. With 0 money coming in, and no other job, this isn't working out so well, I guess.