Audiobook demo

[James Lorenz]

I'm working on putting together a real audiobook demo. I've picked passages from books that I think will best highlight my abilities. As an ongoing project, I'd love to hear opinions as I go along. Performance critique as well as sound quality opinions are more than welcome.

First up: World War Z by Max Brooks - Fiction

[Mike Sommer]

Outstanding.

You took the story, made sense of it, and most importantly, you brought it to life.

You have a lovely voice, and are a sheer joy to listen to.

Audio sounds nice, a little base heavy, but a nice quality. I think I heard one or two mouth clicks in there.
What is your sound chain?

Just nitpicking here. You might want to sharpen your articulation just a little bit, I think it will make you even stronger. And don't forget to do vocal warm up exercises before you read.

Thank you, this was good stuff.

[Diane Havens]

Nice, James. Your pacing is great and your storytelling abilities are evident. But I'll agree with Mike on the articulation. And since this is first person narrative, and you ARE the character, you could get a bit more emotionally vested in the story. How do you feel about what you're telling? Since it happened to you, you might show a flash of anger, or a moment of regret, here and there -- subtly, it would really enhance this clip.

Remember in making your demo, you want to include pieces that highlight you range -- dialogue with a man and woman is particularly important. Different genres. Four or five clips.

Keep up the good work!

[James Lorenz]

Audio sounds nice, a little base heavy, but a nice quality. I think I heard one or two mouth clicks in there.
What is your sound chain?

Just nitpicking here. You might want to sharpen your articulation just a little bit, I think it will make you even stronger. And don't forget to do vocal warm up exercises before you read.


Thanks a lot Mike! One of my biggest hurdles, besides hiding my NY accent, is finding the right balance between being conversational and not over-articulating in long form reads. It usually goes one way or the other. It's definately something I'm working on. The evident mouth clicks are the main reason I'll be doing this spot over again.

I have a simple setup helped by a very good booth. A Sterling ST-55 mic, dbx 286a pre and a Tascam US-144 interface. I do wonder if my booth is a little too dead. Maybe I'll try removing some foam tiles in certain places to liven it up a bit and settle some of the low end.
Thanks for giving it a listen!

[James Lorenz]

Nice, James. Your pacing is great and your storytelling abilities are evident. But I'll agree with Mike on the articulation. And since this is first person narrative, and you ARE the character, you could get a bit more emotionally vested in the story. How do you feel about what you're telling? Since it happened to you, you might show a flash of anger, or a moment of regret, here and there -- subtly, it would really enhance this clip.

Remember in making your demo, you want to include pieces that highlight you range -- dialogue with a man and woman is particularly important. Different genres. Four or five clips.

Keep up the good work!

Thank-you Diane. I was hoping you'd check it out. Listening to it again I can see what you mean. There is definately some room to add a little more emotion in the spot. It is a bit too casual. Great advice.

I'm expecting this to be the second track on the demo. I have one picked out for the first track. It's a Fiction/Thriller read with one female and two male dialogues. Do you think that's too much to start with? I also have a history book (Gangs of New York :smiley:) a Stock and Investment Guide, a Childrens/Young Adult Fantasy book.

Thanks as always for your advice.

[Mike Sommer]

I think your vested emotions were were good; yes you could add a little more weight to some of the words. You are the voice of the story and the author, over coloring can sound false, for the most part I think you struck the proper note in this part of the story. The proof will be in the long form.

Your balance of articulation will come over time. I'd rather hear over articulation, this way you have someplace to go when you have a character that needs to be a little less articulate.

In VO we would rather have a dead room, we can add echo later. Sounds like you might need a bass trap, but I would not mess to much with what you have.

I look forward to hearing more of you.

[Diane Havens]

I agree, Mike, if the read is forced and self-conscious, it will sound false, but if you are totally in character, no notes will be false. You wouldn't have to color words, they will color themselves.

I love reading in first person because it gives you a consistent perspective on the story -- it is third person narration where you must be careful to step back. A well written book will have a constant point of view, but I have read stories that seem to shift into everyone's head a little too much, though ostensibly written in third person -- a little too "omniscient." And it this kind of analysis that a silent reader might not catch, but an audio book narrator will.

To me, you sounded just a little too detached from the story you were telling, and you could do that here, if you told it with a cold, hard delivery -- as if the narrator was trying to be tough, not giving in to any emotion. But your voice has a young, warm quality to it, and you would have to take another approach with it to make it work best for your voice.

In my opinion, of course.

[Diane Havens]

Oh, forgot to answer your question, James! On the thriller, if you can do all three voices well and distinct from one another -- that's a good choice. Just be careful not to make the voices cartoonish -- for female voices, just a lighter touch, not even necessarily higher-pitched really, would make the lines sound more feminine. What's the children's book?

I would have a separate demo for nonfiction, but when you start submitting to publishers, they will have their own special preferences, so when I submit them, I custom-blend to suit.

[James Lorenz]

The children's book is Edgar and Ellen Nodyssey #3. There's a lot of energy and emotion in the chapter I've chosen with the narration and Edgar's dialogue. I'm thinking I might actually lean more towards these books because I love the possibilities of the characters. Just seems like so much fun.

I have a question about the other spot, the fiction/thriller. The Dark Tide by Andrew Gross. One of the male voices is described as having a "slightly European accenT'. I've read that for demo purposes you should avoid accents on the first spot. Should I just alter the script to take that description out?

I'm working on the cover for the demo too.

How's this so far?

[Diane Havens]

Yes -- I would agree you should avoid accents on demos. And no -- don't alter anything in the text!

Very few publishers ask for demos on CD anymore -- but cute cover -- reminds me of Tom Thumb. I might not want to use that, though, unless it's for a children's book demo perhaps! And, as I said, since every publisher will want a different mix, you might not want to spend the effort and money on a hard copy you won't be able to use.

[James Lorenz]

Yes -- I would agree you should avoid accents on demos. And no -- don't alter anything in the text!


So would you recommend I look for a different piece? It's actually tougher than I thought it would be to find just the right section. I was wondering what people were thinking of me at the library flipping through books like a crazy person. :idiot2:

[Diane Havens]

Yes, it's time consuming. But if you love to read, you'll enjoy finding just the right selections. Have fun!

[EConnor]

So would you recommend I look for a different piece? It's actually tougher than I thought it would be to find just the right section. I was wondering what people were thinking of me at the library flipping through books like a crazy person. :idiot2:

I like the sound of the guy you became when you read this excerpt. But hearing your metro NY voice talking about Malibu made me want to hear you read something written by Pete Hamill or Jimmy Breslin. Not with an in-your-face NY accent, but with your subtle approach. I say this as someone who grew up on Long Island.

[Diane Havens]

Yes, Elizabeth's right! Embrace the accent -- read something that feels like it could be you talking. That book I have on Audible now -- the author is from Brooklyn, like I am, around my age, and the way he wrote felt entirely natural to me. I would never have told that story, of course, being the lady that I am, but his syntax and expressions and vocabulary sounded like "home" to me. I "got" him.

[Mike Sommer]

Though I don't know this story, taking from the clues in what you read, the voice I would have expected would have had more maturity. But your comfort and understanding of the story was strong and therefore your performance sounded convincing -I believed you, and you had the tone for the story up until that point.

If I may suggest Haruki Murakami, from what few stories I've read from him (a few of his short stories and "Kafka On The Shore"-very good by the way) he tends to have younger male characters as the main voice of his stories. And in Kafka he has a wonderful bounce in his writing.

[Diane Havens]

One of my favorites! Murakami's stories are wonderful -- read through some of his stories -- you may find one of those that resonate with you. I like Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman (24 Stories).

[James Lorenz]

Funny you should mention it Elizabeth, since I'm debating how to approach the history spot I plan on using. Since it's NY related, I've been tempted to allow myself a little more leniency in covering up my accent. I'll see how it goes but thanks to you both for nudging me that way.

Thanks Mike and Diane for the Murakami recommendations. I will definately look into it.

[Diane Havens]

(Start calling them excerpts, by the way, James.) Be careful if the selection is nonfiction -- then it should be accent-neutral. In first person fiction, you play a character, so you can get away with a bit of your natural inclination.

[James Lorenz]

Take two on my first excerpt :smiley:

Fairly clean, notched up the emotion just a bit. Love any and all opinions!

[Mike Sommer]

If anything, you're constant.

I've listened to this a few time and I believe Diane is right, in that, you should give this a bit more weight, bring real meaning to the story and words -they don't need much- just enough to put gravity to their meaning. Once you start taking about death and how people are dying, your character need to be touched, because inevitably at the end he is move to take action against it.

End with a downward inflection on "living dead" make is sound a little gravely.

"They would simply go to sleep one night, (beat) and not wake up the next morning."

WIth "and not wake up the next morning" I would end this with a little sadness and on a downward inflection. Carry this feeling over into the rest of the story when appropriate. Let's see how that goes.

[Diane Havens]

Have you taken any acting/improv, James? There were some moments here that were real, but at other times, you hit those "false notes" -- when you were forcing the emotion instead of letting it come from you. Only if you really become the character will this sound right -- to my ears anyway. I think it's a tough one to do with your voice quality, and, honestly, I don't think this would be a book you'd be cast to read. Somehow I just don't hear you as a warrior. You sound too nice.

[James Lorenz]

Thank you both again, Mike and Diane, for listening and giving such great advice. A little background on the book. It's a collection of probably close to a hundred different accounts from around the world in the aftermath of a global plague. It's told in documentary form. Some charatcres are only a few paragraphs long, others span a couple of chapters spread out in the book. The voice I'm doing is that of a film maker who documented a certain aspect of the plague and it's ensuing battle. Check out the wiki page on it (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_Z)I haven't heard it yet, having just finished the book, but the audiobook has a huge cast with actors like Alan Alda, Carl and Rob Reiner, Mark Hamill, John Turturro and many more. It's in development as a movie but I think only an HBO-like mini-series could do it justice.Too many stories to fit into one film.

Anyway, I've done a third read. It's edited a bit too tight so I'll need to give it a little more space in places but I'm happy with the results otherwise.

[Diane Havens]

A film maker? Oh -- well, that makes more sense, now that it's put in context. I can hear you as a film maker. I like this one.

[James Lorenz]

A film maker? Oh -- well, that makes more sense, now that it's put in context. I can hear you as a film maker. I like this one.

You actually made a great point when you thought the character was a warrior because in fact, to have survived the ordeal described in the book, one would have to have a warrior mentality. Also, no one else will have a description of the character so that should be considered when choosing an excerpt. Great food for thought!
Thanks!

[Diane Havens]

I know what you mean. In putting together my demo, I had one clip that I just loved but when I played it for a few people, they had no idea of what it was about, who was speaking, etc. It's important to find an excerpt that can stand alone.

[Mike Sommer]

Yes Diane, a film maker. :smiley: That's why I liked the read all along, but these little changes brings a little more depth to the story. Do you hear them James?? Hearing the differences is very important

[Diane Havens]

Yeah. Don't know how I missed that! :) Guess my attention dropped out by that point when it was mentioned, so that's not a good sign (for me as well as you) -- but it is very clear in this last read, even without the explanation.

[James Lorenz]

I can definately hear the difference Mike. The more I got into the role the more the little touches feel obvious and come out. Diane was spot on in detecting the need for more emotion. I'm going to put this one aside and move on for now. A couple of days away from it and I'll probably want to do it over again.

[Mike Sommer]

Good. It's always best during this growth period to stick things in the drawer, whilst working on other
projects, and listen to it with fresh ears again later. Your discoveries can be profound, and sometimes
embarrassing. But no fear, you've done well here.

[James Lorenz]

OK, here's my next excerpt, Edgar & Ellen Nodyssey #3 by Charles Ogden. I'm expecting this to be the third track on my demo.
Any and all opinions are welcome! :bye:

[Diane Havens]

You have a good voice quality for this. I like the voice of Edgar, and the tone/pace of the narration was good, but some undue emphasis might have been placed on a word here and there, which sounded unnatural to me.

The ending weakened though -- it's tough to "scream", and make it sound real -- and then you threw away the falling off the cliff line. You want to put a beat in there to play it up, especially as the "cliff-hanger" (literally here) ending. It's also a shame there is not another voice that speaks in this excerpt. Publishers look for how you handle multi-character dialogue.

[James Lorenz]

It's also a shame there is not another voice that speaks in this excerpt. Publishers look for how you handle multi-character dialogue.


I was thinking that too but figured since my first excerpt will have the three characters this would be ok. I guess I really have to make a decision on the first one. hmmmm.