View Full Version : My non-stop tweaking
06-25-2008, 11:36 AM
Ok folks. I just sat and put together a new commercial demo. Throw me some critique if you please. Also, is it worth using as my "real" demo? You know for my website, etc.. Oh and the first spot..ALL ME:D Seriously.
06-26-2008, 01:52 AM
No offense, but the first one puts me off, especially right off the bat, I'd say ditch it and try for something more like the others, speaking of, it seems to me that you are in and out of the low end of your voice on the others, great work, I just think that you could develope the low end and the higher end and broaden your voice range.
06-26-2008, 08:02 AM
Excellent. Thanks. No offense taken. I had fun putting it together, but felt it was, well,..lacking. I posted and asked because some of the stuff I have thought was good, the majority thought it sucked. The stuff I thought sucked got me work. Just goes to show. Thank you for your input...back to the mic.
06-27-2008, 12:09 PM
After listening through once, all I remember is the burp. It's clean and well delivered and aside from the burp, very "nice". I have heard that some "nice" demos get attention, but not from me.
Consider who is going to listen to this. Consider the hundreds of other demos they may listen to and what would make yours stand out. In particular I do not hear much personalization. There is no emotion or real acting here. It needs attachment to the products and services and and texture. Changes in emotion. I'm struggling to remember what you said about Bank of America, but it seems to me that a chuckle and a big smile were definitely called for. As a dad, well, you sound like a dad who happens to be an announcer. Who were you speaking to when you delivered these lines? I can be almost certain that you didn't clearly have a person you were speaking to or a goal or agenda or a backstory.
As for the non-stop tweaking, drink less coffee. If you are desperate to get some sort of "product" out there I can see where you're heading. If you want to knock someone's socks off, try reading one piece of copy that would be worthy of an award winning performance. Something that gets you (and I do mean you) right into the heart of what you're saying so that 5 minutes after reading the copy, you're still shaking or feeling goosebumps or something. And then dop one more and when you have 4 or 5, put them together, even if it's only 45 seconds worth and that can be your demo for now.
Otherwise, you join the gaggle of thousands of other voice actors with "nice" demos bobbing up and down in your identical yellow life preservers adrift in a giant sea waiting to be found.
I know you are capable of doing much much more. Let's hear it.
06-27-2008, 01:19 PM
JS, Thank you. You are right at the heart of it and I appreciate that. I also appreciate the fact that you believe, as I do, that I am capable of much more. I am constantly searching for copy that speaks to me. I have a zillion scripts from the zillion auditions I have done. None of them however really speak to me. I need to learn to speak to them, to bring them to life. I will go back through and rethink. I am, as you said, really searching to get something out there that really grabs attention and shows who I am and the true diversity I can bring to the table. The acting classes I am taking really are helping, now I need to reel in some fresh copy that I can breathe life into. Ok, I am rambling. Your input is appreciated.....MORE COFFEE :-)
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