critique me.

[J. Calvert]

Hello All,
I'm new to this site and thought I would jump right in with the hardest of all, critiques.

I enjoy corrective criticism as long as it's corrective and not critical.

Thanks for your input.

[JoeActor]

Hi J,

Might be my setup, but it seems like your voice is a bit distorted (compression? topping out?).

The tone of the spot is good. I might go for a little more feeling or drama in the performance.

I know you've got a hefty radio background, but have you done much theatre or improv? Just curious...

Hope this helps,
Joe J Thomas
www.JoeActor.com (http://www.JoeActor.com)

[PierceVoice]

Not distorted here, but certainly LOUD. I can see how that could spike on different setups.

Sure have the cajones cranked! Only thing to add is that the read seems a bit less intense than the music and copy dictate. Perhaps pick up the level of urgency? Otherwise, nice job!

[Emorgan_Voiceovers]

Good thing I read Chadd's post before I started posting. I was gonna say the same thing. A little more dramatic would be the ticket from my view as well. Definitely a good job though.

[J. Calvert]

Thanks for the feedback guys.

1. LOUD-ok, I understand.

2. Dramatics, I got that also.
It just seems like I lose the product in the midts of dramatization.

NO theatre, NO impov.
Unless you consider that there is a fair amount of imporv. in radio as well as theatre but non to the extent that you are refering.

Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment.

[jsgilbert]

Sorry, but to me, it was a lot of "Boy I love my voice" compressed to the point where it was highy over sybilant and then mixed so so.

I am now typing this probably less than 90 seconds after hearing it and the only word I can actually say that I remember is "magic". If there was a product or service involved, I don't remember it. But then again, there are tons of not so memorable things I hear every day.

I guess the big question really is "What is it that you want us to critique here?"

I suppose the good news is that it really wasn't any worse than a lot of finished commercial work I have heard.

[jsgilbert]

I listened back again and realized that the last words, which I beleive are "Earth's Sea", are completely thrown away, as if the talent wa 1/2 way out of the booth when they said those words. Ramping out (as I call it) is a common affliction, as well as ramping in.