Critiques wanted: Voicemail/On-hold demo

[TomConklin]

Hey folks. I was wondering if I could get some feedback on my Voicemail/on-hold demo? I have been listening to tons of on-hold demos (some really good, some really bad) and I think I am being too critical of my own. I actually do thinks it is pretty good, but I would love to hear what you guys think.

[jsgilbert]

Hi Tom,
It's a nice and warm voice that wouldn't piss me off if I had to listen to it for awhile on hold. In my career of performing voicemail/ on hold, I have been told the same thing. Now, if you call most of the fortune 500 companies out there and listen to who is getting that work, none of them sounds like you or me. Usually they are stiff and pretty stereotypical, to the point where even listening to the moviephone voice becomes a breath of fresh air.

I wonder why you're focusing on this aspect of voiceover (or to what degree), when your voice seems very well suited to commercial work. Just an observation.

Instead of listening to on hold demos, I would start calling companies after hours or on Sundays and actually hearing the "real deal"

As for your demo. The downtown inc part is way too long. I would mix it up and put in something retail, such as a .com company read, also financial and maybe a hospital. I would also change your cadence up and try to find something you can sound excited about, perhaps an automotive read? I would also ditch the commercial for yourself. Bring this down to 1 minute and have some texture and variation to it. The part with the phone processing is nice and I would have that come in earlier as it gives the listener the true sense that this is voicemail/ on hold.

Good Luck

[TomConklin]

Hey JS,

Thanks for the input. I'm not really focusing on the on-hold aspect of voiceover. I am just trying everything to see what I am good at. You suggested ditching the commercial for myself part. You didn't make it clear as to what your reason was as to why you would do that. Just curious. I was looking to have another on-hold type message on there and it sort of came out that way. I thought it worked, but I like the critiques.

Please, anyone else feel free to chime in. I would like to know what others think as well.